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Remembering a True 'Enchanted Self'
September 19th, 2008 2:06 AM

Remembering a True 'Enchanted Self': By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Over my lifetime I have never tired of watching Lucille Ball in action. Oh, what ecstasy in my childhood to finish a dreary Monday by watching Lucy come to grips with her life in hysterical ways! She gave me courage to believe as a little girl that one could overcome adversity, have a life worth living, fill that life with positive emotions and fun, and stay happy even when faced with momentary distress. No one in the world could eat as many chocolates as fast as Lucy, working on an assembly line, bake a loaf of bread so large it overtook the kitchen, or carry a smelly cheese onto an international flight, wrapped up as baby! No one could make me laugh so hard!

Lucy has held the key to my humor heart at any time of day or night! Ah, I wish I could find her any time I need her -- after a bad day, after bad news, after too big a dinner -- after almost any occasion that could be buffered by a good laugh, and a comforting sense of the familiar.

What was her magic? How has she managed to take me to my Enchanted Self since I was a 10-year-old child, watching her in Fairfield, Connecticut on Monday nights? How has she engendered positive states of being again and again?

First of all, for most of us over 25, Lucy has become part of our history. She was always there, on a snow day, a day of illness, a late night when one couldn't sleep. If you were lucky and flicked enough stations, there she was. Her smile was infectious, and her ineptness made us all feel comfortable. It was as if she revealed our most embarrassing moments for us. We never had to feel the shame or humiliation of tripping down the stairs with a giant showgirl hat on our heads or try to catch up with the real superman on the ledge to our apartment! Lucy did it for us. Yet, inside of each of us was the youngster that would have given anything to be in a show or looking for superman!

Secondly, she gave us the 'real' family that had a lot going for it, which not all of us had. They really seemed to love each other, they had good friends, they always made up when they fought, and nothing happened that was truly devastating. Silly mistakes were just that, and grudges were not held! They got to travel and meet famous people and eat in fancy restaurants! And, they had a baby and everyone was happy and loved the baby and no one was jealous. Lastly, they got to move up in life when they finally moved to the suburbs into a big house with lots of land and funny happenings. They even raised chickens!

What a beautiful world Lucy and her gang recreated for us. It was our country, our way of life, but on top of the familiar were humor, love, and always recovery from problems or embarrassments.

In essence, she made the familiar the best it could be! She helped us live in our imaginations for a while, yet kept us earthbound at the same time. Yes, we were in states of well-being, again and again -- which is what THE ENCHANTED SELF is all about.

I realize now that she was one of my most important mentors. She actually assisted me through every gate of Enchantment. This is how she did it:

FIRST GATEWAY, Self-Esteem: If Lucy could be embarrassed and yet triumph, so could I!

SECOND GATEWAY, Learning to Meet My Needs: If Lucy could get on TV, travel, meet famous people, etc. so could I!

THIRD GATEWAY, Bringing in Pleasure to One's Life: Lucy gave me pleasure and showed me how to get more! She had fun and good times even though she made mistakes and was even ridiculous at times. Therefore so could I!

FOURTH GATEWAY, Becoming the Heroine of One's Life Story: If Lucy could be a heroine, receive recognition, and save the day so many times, with all her mistakes and foibles, so could I!

FIFTH GATEWAY, Finding Tribes to Belong To: Lucy let me belong to her world without hesitation. Not only did this gift give me an extra family, but it gave me confidence that I could find others.

SIXTH GATEWAY, Finding Mentors: Lucy was a great mentor for me. She taught me humor and how to recover from shame and embarrassment and how to keep trying even with disappointments and delays. Again, if she could keep on trying, so could I!

SEVENTH GATEWAY, Living a Life of Positive Action: Every week Lucy gave me hope that even with mistakes I could live a life of meaning, feel loved, and have a good time! What a great combination!

Lucy's amazing gift to me was that by allowing me to identify with her very failings and embarrassments, I was also able to uplift myself at the same time! Like the ancient Moses, who had a severe speech impediment -- which everyone was aware of, and trembled every time God asked him to lead his people -- Lucy had modern-day shortcomings. She was foolish. She wanted to show off. She wanted to be in pictures! Yet, like Moses, she led a generation or two in positive paths anyway.

Thank you Lucy Ricardo, and of course, Lucille Ball for giving me so much enchantment! How delightful to hold your inspiration again in my mind's eye!

About the Author:

Dr. Holstein is the originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) and a positive psychologist in private practice since 1981. She is the author of "The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy," "Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!," "Delight," and now "The Truth (I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything)."

Dr. Holstein speaks on radio and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her website is http://www.enchantedself.com. She gives lectures, seminars, and teleclasses, and her quotes appear often in national magazines. She has a weekly radio show on http://www.internetvoicesradio.com, called "Kids, Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three."

Check out the Experts page for Barbara Becker Holstein, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Positive Psychology.

Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 19th, 2008 2:06 AMPost a Comment (0)

Free Home Buying Seminar
September 30th, 2008 4:54 PM

We Will Show You What You Need To Know Even Though You Didn’t Know You Needed To Know!!

First Time Home Buyer? Selling or Buying? Refinancing?

A Free Seminar From a Few of the Experts in The Real Estate Industry.

Join Us Monday Oct 27

7 P.M.

Century 21 American Homes

1897 Wantagh Avenue, Wantagh


This Seminar Is Reserved Seating Only! Seating Is Limited. Please Reserve Your Seat Today by Calling:

516-826-4600 ext 1029

RSVP By Oct 12, 2007

Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 30th, 2008 4:54 PMPost a Comment (0)

Home Buyer $7550 Tax Credit
September 30th, 2008 4:29 PM

Summary of first-time homebuyer tax credit

By Marcie Geffner • Bankrate.com

 

If you're planning to buy a home in the next 10 months, you may be eager to take advantage of the federal government's latest effort to jump-start the nation's moribund housing markets: A tax credit of up to $7,500 for certain homebuyers.

 

The credit may appear to be an attractive opportunity, but you should be sure you read the fine print before you elect to claim it on your federal tax return.

"The big story is that it is not a credit. It is a loan, and you are going to have to pay it back, so you'd better make sure that you have the money," says John W. Roth, senior tax analyst at CCH Group, a Riverwoods, Ill.-based company that provides tax software, services and information.

"If you claim the credit, you could end up with some tax issues a couple of years down the road because of the tax liability, and if you sell the house, there is a possibility that you could have a bigger tax bill."

With that warning in mind, here's a summary of the rules.

First-time homebuyer tax credit rules
1. The tax credit is not a deduction
2. The tax credit is repayable to the federal government
3. Selling your home before the 15 years are up?
4. The credit also will be written off if you die before it's repaid
5. The tax credit is restricted to 'first-time homebuyers
6. The tax credit may be taken only for the purchase of a principal residence
7. Modified adjusted gross income limits
8. Some may get a partial credit
9. Technically, the credit is equal to 10 percent of the purchase price of the home
10. The home must be purchased on or after April 9, 2008
11. Buying a home in 2009?
12. The credit cannot be used with mortgage-revenue bond financing

1. The tax credit is not a deduction, but rather a true credit in the sense that your federal income tax liability will be reduced dollar-for-dollar up to the amount of the credit you're entitled to take. For example, if you owed federal income tax of $8,000 and you took the maximum credit of $7,500, your tax bill would be cut to $500. The credit is also refundable: If you owed, for instance, $1,500 in income tax and, again, you took the maximum credit, your tax liability would be zeroed out and you'd get a check for $6,000 from the government.

2. The tax credit is repayable to the federal government. The total credit is divided into small bits of 6.67 percent, each of which is due annually for 15 years.

“The big story is that it is not a credit. It is a loan.”

 

3. If you sell your home before the 15 years are up, the remainder of the credit that you haven't yet repaid will become due. If you sell your home at a loss, the government will write off the balance of the credit that you still owe.

4. The credit also will be written off if you die before it's repaid. Special rules apply to transfers of property between spouses or incident to divorce; or if the home is subject to "involuntary conversion," such as being destroyed by a natural disaster; or is seized by a government authority though the exercise of eminent domain.

5. The tax credit is restricted to "first-time homebuyers," but the definition includes anyone who didn't have an ownership interest in a principal residence during the prior three years. If you're married, you and your spouse must fit that definition. An ownership interest in an investment property or vacation home is not a disqualification. The rules aren't entirely clear as to how the tax credit will be allocated if two unmarried people buy a home together and only one of them meets the definition.

6. The tax credit may be taken only for the purchase of a principal residence, which means a home where you plan to live most of the time. The home may be a detached house, condominium, town house, manufactured (aka mobile) home or houseboat. It must be located in the United States. A home purchased from a "related party" (e.g., a parent or sibling) is not eligible.

7. Your modified adjusted gross income, or MAGI, on your federal tax return must be less than $75,000 if you're single or a married head of household, or $150,000 if you're married and filing a joint tax return with your spouse. MAGI is a technical term that's defined by the IRS, so you should consult a tax professional if you're not certain you meet this test.

8. If you're single or a married head of household and your MAGI is more than $75,000, but less than $95,000, you may get a partial credit subject to a complicated formula. The same is true if you're married, filing jointly, and your MAGI is more than $150,000, but less than $170,000. If your MAGI is more than those limits, you're not eligible.

9. Technically, the credit is equal to 10 percent of the purchase price of the home, up to a maximum of $7,500. Thus, if the home is worth less than $75,000, the maximum credit is 10 percent of the price, and if the home is worth $75,000 or more, the maximum credit is $7,500. Married couples who file separate tax returns can claim half the credit on each return.

10. The home must be purchased on or after April 9, 2008, but before July 1, 2009. Since the law was enacted July 30, 2008, part of that time frame is retroactive. That means if you already bought a home after April 9, 2008, but before July 30, 2008, you can still take the credit.

11. If you buy a home in the first half of 2009, you can elect to claim the credit on your 2008 tax return. That way, you'll receive the money sooner, but the payback schedule will begin sooner as well. Tip: If your MAGI is over the limit for the full credit in either 2008 or 2009, you can claim the credit in the other year to maximize your benefit.

12. The credit cannot be used with mortgage-revenue bond financing or the Washington, D.C., first-time homebuyer tax credit.

For more information, check these two resources:

National Association of Home Builders:
www.federalhousingtaxcredit.com

National Association of Realtors:
First-Time Homebuyer Tax Credit - FAQ
Housing and Economic Recovery Act of 2008

 

Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 30th, 2008 4:29 PMPost a Comment (0)

Do you want news on the bailout and things that will affect your buying power?
September 27th, 2008 8:56 PM
RISMEDIA is a website that will give you daily updates on all that is going on in the financial world from market trends to infromation on the economical bailout.
Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 27th, 2008 8:56 PMPost a Comment (0)

Current real estate news
September 27th, 2008 8:51 PM
News in Real Estate is a link wuth daiy updates of things affecting the real estate market.
Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 27th, 2008 8:51 PMPost a Comment (0)

Home Buyer Seminar
September 26th, 2008 6:19 PM

What you need to know when buying a home.

 

NO Obligation FIRST TIME

HOME  BUYER'S SEMINAR

The basics of purchasing a home in today's real estate market. Do you think you know all about the facts when it comes to buying a home? You would be surprised at all the things there are to know that you are not even aware of now. Come and find out all the things to need to know even though you did not know you needed to know it.

Monday October 27, at 7pm

Century 21 American Homes

1897 Wantagh Ave, Wantagh

Free Gifts, Refreshments and Prizes

You MUST preregister.

Barbara Tretola, Associate Broker 697-9594

Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 26th, 2008 6:19 PMPost a Comment (0)

Free Builiding Wealth Seminar . Homeowners and Buyers, welcome
September 26th, 2008 2:52 PM

CONTINENTAL HOME LOANS, INC

PROUDLY SPONSORS

 

Building Wealth

Monday October 6, 2008

Continental Home Loans, Inc.

175 Pinelawn Rd. Suite 400

Melville, NY 11747

6:30- 8:30 PM

Reservations required

516 697-9594

email RealtorBarbaraT@aol.com

 

or Maribel at 631 549-8188 ext 4378

tell her referred by Barbara Tretola

Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 26th, 2008 2:52 PMPost a Comment (0)

Homeowner tips from Housemaster
September 4th, 2008 2:04 PM
__________________________________________________________________
HOUSEMASTER.COM HOME OWNERSHIP ENEWSLETTER
September 2008
Welcome to the most informative news source for homeowners!
___________________________________________________________________
IN THIS ISSUE


HOT TOPIC - RADON IN GRANITE COUNTERTOPS
Is there cause for concern, or is the recent media coverage all hype?
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/9_2008.html

HOW OFTEN DOES A SEPTIC TANK NEED TO BE PUMPED OUT?
It depends! The tank size and number of occupants make a big difference.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/9_2008.html

GO GREEN - CONSIDER ALTERNATIVE CLEANING PRODUCTS
Look to common household products to help rid your house of potential pollutants.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/9_2008.html

FAN SAFETY
As summer begins to wind down, attention must still be paid to potential safety hazards associated with portable fans.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/9_2008.html

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Learn how to clean vinyl siding and redwood decks and repair kitchen wall tile and doors that do not stay open.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/9_2008.html

__________________________________________________________________
CONTACT INFORMATION:
IM Kapco, Inc.
357 Veterans Memorial Highway Comack NY 11725 USA
800-805-1122

ABOUT YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
For the most comprehensive home buying and home ownership information, go to www.housemaster.com

NON-CLICKABLE LINKS
If the links above do not click thru, simply cut and paste them into your browser.

TERMS OF USE
By using the newsletter you accept our terms of use. The material on housemaster.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice by appropriate specialists. You should promptly seek such assistance if you have any concern about your family's health or safety, or the soundness of your home. No portion of this newsletter may be reproduced in any fashion.

EACH HOUSEMASTER FRANCHISE OFFICE IS INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED. NOT ALL SERVICES AVAILABLE AT EVERY LOCATION.

Copyright DBR Franchising, LLC
Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 4th, 2008 2:04 PMPost a Comment (0)

The Secret to Pricing Your Home to Sell
September 3rd, 2008 1:36 AM

When selling your home its value is determined by one thing ,what a qualified buyer is willing to pay for it. Many sellers will argue that their home has an appraised value, or a tax assessed value, but none of that matters. A home without a buyer has no value . Sure it might have a value to you the seller, and it might have a value to your banker, and to your insurance agent, and to your appraiser. But none of these people are buyers.

So here is the secret to pricing your home to sell - It's not what you think the home is worth that matters, it's what a reasonable buyer will think your home is worth that will ultimately determine if your home will sell.

In the real world every buyer knows that you, the seller, have no obligation to sell your home. To purchase your home the buyer will have to make you an offer you can't or won't refuse. So you think that you can hold out for a price and eventually the market will come to you. Wrong! Buyers are under no obligation to buy any particular home, and no amount of marketing, will motivate a buyer to purchase an overpriced home. Why? Because they can buy one of your neighbors homes for less! 

Understanding Price VS Time

What is more important price or time?  For sellers this boils down to the need to sell within a set time frame or instead to hold out for the best possible price, and as you might guess, for buyers it's the need to buy within a set time frame or to purchase a home for the lowest possible price.

A seller who would like to sell for top dollar should be prepared to potentially wait longer for a buyer willing to pay a premium price. On the flip side, a seller who needs to sell quickly, and doesn't have time to wait, should expect to discount their price somewhat because of the limited time they have to expose their home to the market.

What's the difference? Timing!

 A buyer who has the luxury of shopping for a home over a long period of time can probably wait to find a bargain, while another buyer who must buy a home in the next few weeks will probably be willing to pay a premium. Again it boils down to price vs time. What is your highest priority - Selling quickly or selling for a higher price?

 I know you want both! Because of this, many homeowners will attempt to put the responsibility of getting both top dollar and fast sale on the back of their real estate agent. The result can be summed up in one word - frustration. Why? Because no matter how much a seller yells, screams, and kicks a real estate agent, they don't do miracles. While a real estate agents job is to provide marketing, expert advice, and negotiating services,  they don't make the final decisions on pricing. The seller does, and ultimately the seller's asking price will in large part determine how slowly or quickly the home will sell.

Consider what you will do should you at the end of your listing period and the home has not yet sold. What do you do: give it a little more time or adjust your price? Neither, I'll just fire the agent! This is exactly what many sellers' do, they fire their agent  Does it work? More often they  end up three months later in the same place. Successful sellers make a clear decision about which is more important to them, selling quickly or selling for top dollar.

They know to price their home accurately means they need to think like a buyer, If you're like most buyers you would probably start online by viewing listings at websites  to get a general feel for local home prices. Next you might narrow your search down to a specific community or neighborhood by comparing utility costs, school reports, and crime statistics with other online tools  Then your you might then venture out into the real world to begin viewing homes in person.

As a typical internet real estate buyer you will look at an average of nine homes over eight weeks with the assistance of a real estate professional. By the end as a buyer you become so knowledgeable about the market that you are able to guess, with reasonable accuracy, each homes listing price before your agent can even tell you.

So what happened here? As a buyer you went from a blank slate, with no impression of the market to having the ability to predict listing prices. A big leap sure, but this description is exactly what most buyers' experience. But this is only the build up, the next step for buyers who have found their dream home is to review a Comparative Market Analysis.

A Comparative Market Analysis is a report that compares a specific home,  with other homes in a specific neighborhood. This analysis is then used to provide an anticipated sales price or price range for the subject property.The report provides a similar function by giving home buyers and home sellers a clear understanding of the market data that might affect their opinion of value.

And remember many buyers enlist the aid of buyer's agent who will provide a CMA for them when it comes to making an offer.

 

To learn more about using a CMA to help price your home talk to your local REALTOR®.

 

Posted by Barbara Tretola on September 3rd, 2008 1:36 AMPost a Comment (0)
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