My New Blog

Why am I not happy?
October 9th, 2008 4:52 PM

"I've got a great life!" (Why am I not happy?): By Dr. Annette Colby, RD

My husband is rarely affected by mood swings. It's the most incredible thing to behold! He is honestly the most balanced, joyful, and happiest person I have ever met. Sure, he can get upset, angry, or disillusioned just like the rest of us, but overall his mood is light-filled and loving. I absolutely adore his abundant laugher and overflowing joy.

As for me, I love life! But... I feel everything -- even those feelings that don't originate from me. Overall, that's a good thing. It provides a deep and rich awareness, understanding, and empathy of life, other people, and myself. However, sometimes those feelings are intense, and sometimes they get stuck inside. A lifetime of living with this heightened sense of emotional awareness has allowed me to become an expert in how to move those more difficult emotions up and out.

If you often feel moody or down in the dumps, perhaps that is just part of the way you are built. Instead of tolerating your moods, maybe it's time you also became an expert in personal mood management. If you are having trouble feeling happy, try these tips. When you find something that works, add it to your emotional well-being toolbox. Then next time you want to move from sad to glad, open your toolbox, dig around, and put one or more of your tools into action.

1. Go ahead -- worry.
Allow yourself 15 minutes of worry time. Get out your journal and write it all down. Your journal can be an incredible tool to validate the importance of what you feel. Express your emotions, feel your feelings, and let it all out. Write out the big sloppy, messy misery that you are experiencing. Communicate your concerns. Then once it's all out, set aside your journal and move on to an activity that will bring some positive energy into your life.

2. Walk it off.
Research shows that walking is great way to de-stress. Not only does a walk get your energy flowing, it also helps you breathe more deeply. Breathing can disrupt the internal stress-building loop where stressful feelings lead to negative thoughts that lead to stressful energy. Breathing interrupts the common tendency that we have to ruminate or become absorbed with our thoughts and feelings when we are upset. Breathing opens up your body, helps emotions flow, and helps us come back to our own inner core of peace.

3. Rub it in.
Enjoying a 20-minute massage once or twice a week has been shown to lower stress and anxiety. Plus, massage is a great way to connect with your body in a positive, loving way. Human touch in the form of massage can allow you to relax, unwind, reduce your stress hormones, and increase brain relaxation. It certainly can't hurt, and it can make you feel better.

4. Laugh it up.
If you can't cry, then try laughing. It can be just as effective as tears to move out some of those dark, heavy, moody energies. Laughter also increases the release of endorphins -- brain chemicals that give you a sense of emotional well-being. Rent a funny movie, call up your comical friend, or check out the comedy channel on television or your satellite radio. A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want a long neck?" The giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?" Didn't think that one was funny? Try this one: Three guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

5. Create the official "50 things I love" list.
Sit down and create a list of 50 things you love. Maybe your list includes a favorite movie, making up silly songs, an onion bagel, and gardening. When you are feeling down, you can look at all the things you love about life. Then actively engage yourself in one or two of the items on your list, even if you think you won't enjoy yourself. Find an item that makes you laugh, boosts your self-esteem, or revitalizes your mood. You might be faking it at first, but as you take an intentional action to nurture yourself, your brain will respond by releasing feel good hormones.

6. Food and mood.
What you eat can affect your mood. If you haven't eaten in a few hours, or you've only eaten a sugary cereal or doughnut for breakfast, your blood sugar could be plummeting. Low blood sugar equals a low mood. Instead of reaching for a quick fix candy bar, reach for a meal that's loaded with protein that can increase alertness and energy, and complex carbohydrates that can provide a level blood sugar balance. High protein foods include fish, poultry, meat, and eggs. If you can't eat those, try legumes, cheese, milk, yogurt, or tofu. Healthy complex carbohydrate foods include whole grain breads and cereals, whole grain pasta or rice, oatmeal, fruits, and vegetables.

7. Drink Up the H2O!
Drink water, water, and more water! One of the first signs of dehydration is a mood swing. Drinking more water could be the easiest way to lighten your mood, sharpen your thoughts, and feel better quickly. In part, that's because your brain needs water to function at its highest capacity. Rehydrating allows the natural brain chemicals to do their job.

8. Clean your house, clear your mood.
A clean house, or closet, or desk can lift your spirits. Being surrounded by clutter can cause you to feel overwhelmed, stuck, and stressed. It can kill your energy and leave you feeling down and unmotivated. Get a feel for where you would get the most bang for your buck. Cleaning the toilet might not do much to increase your enthusiasm, but putting away your laundry and then clearing out your closet might just be what the doctor ordered. Once your clutter clearing is complete, sit back, breathe, and enjoy all the new energy that is available to you.

Learning to lift you mood can seem impossible at times, but there are ways to help yourself feel better. Experiment with the tips above and discover what lifts the funk out of you. Spending some time figuring out how to release a sad mood will pay off big time to give you a more fun and fulfilling life.

About the Author:


If you're not living the life of your dreams, or getting the results you want, it's probably your beliefs holding you back. Inspirational author and personal growth expert Dr. Annette Colby, RD can help. Whether you are trying to take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, or move beyond depression, you can achieve success. Annette breaks it down step-by-step so anyone can achieve the life they are wanting to live, no matter how tough life was before. To access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for an inspirational Loving Miracles newsletter, visit http://www.annettecolby.com


Check out the Experts page for Annette Colby, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Energy Healing.


Posted by Barbara Tretola on October 9th, 2008 4:52 PMPost a Comment (0)

There is Only One Audience in the World: How to Create a Supportive Audience:
October 22nd, 2008 11:57 PM

 By Sandra Zimmer

My public speaking students ask, "What if I speak to an audience that is hostile? How do I deal with that?" This question usually comes up after they have transformed a great deal of stage fright and are feeling very comfortable at the center of attention in their class group. The implication of the question is how to protect themselves from people who don't love, respect, and accept them. At the root of this question is a judgment about the audience members. Their assumption is that people in the audience will treat them disrespectfully and even worse attack them outright.

I tell them that there is only one audience in the world -- that is the audience that you create by how you relate to them. People are mostly alike. For the most part, they care about other people and want to be supportive. And, if they are treated with respect and honesty, they respond in kind. Audiences are the same way. If you step up to the podium and open to receive them, they are compelled to pay attention and to support you.

It's all in how you look at them -- literally how you look at them. If you tense up to protect yourself from attack, you unconsciously invite them to attack you. You are looking at them as dangerous, and they will sense that. But if you look at them through the eyes of love and acceptance, they will sense that and give supportive attention back to you. You literally create a supportive audience by being there to support them.

I recommend and teach the use of soft eyes. That is, look softly at your audience members. Land your eyes gently on one person at a time, taking in a sense of energy from each individual you make eye contact with. I call this "receiving" the audience. It allows you to be with them rather than talk at them. Instead of looking at them with hard-focused eyes, open yourself to take in their attention, love, and support. Because you are looking with friendly, soft eyes, people are instantly transformed and respond in kind.

Soft eye connection gives others permission to be who they are with whatever feelings and thoughts they currently have. When people are given permission to feel their feelings and think their real thoughts, they relax and become kinder and more open. If you are willing to take the risk to be open with your audience, they will be open with you.

So for instance, if you are sharing some bad news with a group of stakeholders, and you can be honest about the situation and can give them permission to be upset about it, then that permission will allow them to express their displeasure. If you resist, they will stay angry. If you allow their feelings to be expressed and you don't take it personally, they calm down.

About the Author:


Sandra Zimmer is the President and Founder of The Self-Expression Center in Houston, Texas. She works with professionals who are struggling with communication, who are gripped with fear about speaking to groups or who don't like the sound of their voice. She guides people through experiential learning programs that connect them with their natural abilities to express, communicate, and present so they feel confident to share their ideas, insights, and expertise with the world. Sandra can be contacted at http://www.self-expression.com, sandra@self-expression.com, and 281-293-7070.

Go here to learn how Sandra is transforming stage fright and fear of public speaking into authentic presence!


Check out the Experts page for Sandra Zimmer, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Stage Fright and Overcoming Stage Fright.



Posted by Barbara Tretola on October 22nd, 2008 11:57 PMPost a Comment (0)

Just Listed! 576 Seamans Neck Rd Seaford, NY 11783
October 9th, 2008 1:35 AM
Header
Header_2
Listings Photo
$445,000.00
576 Seamans Neck Rd

Seaford, NY 11783



Beds: 3.0 Rooms: 3
Baths: 1.00 Sq. Ft.: 0
Garage: 1.0 Built: 0
 

This is a new listing that
I thought you might be
interested in. Visit this
listing online to see more
photos of the property,
Google Earth satellite
images, and much more.
 

If you have any questions
about this property or
require more information,
please feel free to call.

Barbara Tretola
Century 21 American Homes
5166979594/8264600
www.wantaghrealtorbarbaratretola.com



 
  Visit this listing at Here

Posted by Barbara Tretola on October 9th, 2008 1:35 AMPost a Comment (0)

HOUSEMASTER.COM HOME OWNERSHIP ENEWSLETTER
October 5th, 2008 3:24 PM
HOUSEMASTER.COM HOME OWNERSHIP ENEWSLETTER
October 2008
Welcome to the most informative news source for homeowners!
___________________________________________________________________
IN THIS ISSUE


FALL MAINTENANCE
Cold weather is on the way; now is the time to prepare!
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/10_2008.html

LADDER SAFETY
Ladder use and ladder safety go hand-in-hand for the wise homeowner
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/10_2008.html

FIREPLACE REFRACTORY PANELS
Keep an eye on this fireplace component for safe and efficient fireplace use.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/10_2008.html

MAKE YOUR HOME UNFRIENDLY TO MOLD
All homeowners need to keep ahead of the curve on mold prevention year round.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/10_2008.html

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Learn how to a correct squeaky floors or foggy insulated glass windows, provide a vapor barrier for an old house, and get the maximum out of a house painting job.
  http://enewsletter.housemaster.com/10_2008.html


Posted by Barbara Tretola on October 5th, 2008 3:24 PMPost a Comment (0)

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